Some Sweet Herbs
By Alice Spenser-Higgs

Sweet flavours and good looks go hand-in-hand in the herb garden. Stevia, rose-scented geranium, pineapple sage, mint, lavender and angelica are some of the herbs with these attributes.

Sweet herbs are the herbs of summer, used for flavouring fruit punches, desserts, teas and teatime favourites like cakes, biscuits and scones.

With the exception of stevia, which is so sweet that it can be used as a substitute for sugar, the herbs with a sweet, fruity or aromatic flavour are not overpowering.

Their presence is subtle, adding just a hint of pineapple in the case of pineapple sage or pineapple mint, or lemony-rose in the case of rose geranium.

Herbs that fall into this category include angelica, cinnamon basil, the mints, pineapple sage, lavender (if used very sparingly), sweet cicely, stevia, rose petals and rose-scented geranium.

Although they are not regarded as sweet herbs, the anise flavour of dill, fennel and agastache leaves also adds sweetness to food, cold drinks and teas.

Rosemary can also be used for flavouring biscuits, cakes and drinks, but, like lavender, it too should be used in very small quantities otherwise the end result can be bitter.

Unlike their savoury counterparts, most sweet herbs are not known for any strong medicinal properties, but they are used for skincare, as well as having other household uses.

They are also very welcome in herb and flower gardens because of their attractive leaves or flowers, or both.

Read more in the August issue of The Gardener Magazine…

WIN! WIN! WIN!

Stand a chance to win a year’s supply to The Gardener Magazine.

To enter, send your details to life@ecr.co.za with “The Gardener” in the subject line.

Competition closes Friday, 6 August 2010 at noon.

The winner will be notified via email.

*Tanya Visser studied horticulture at what was then Technikon Natal in Durban. She’s the editor of The Gardener and Die Tuinier magazines and presenter of The Gardener TV series on the Home Channel. Tanya’s really passionate about plants, gardens and people. She’s equally passionate about sharing her knowledge with others and seeing them put it into practice in their own gardens.

The festival includes films by some of international cinema’s most prominent and respected directors and you still have loads of time to watch the movies if you haven’t done so already.

One of the highlights so far was the world premiere on Monday night of Joshua Sternlicht’s documentary Fool in a Bubble. It’s about legendary SA musician Syd Kitchen.

The screening was an emotionally charged event. Afterwards, the packed audience made up of well-known music industry personalities and general public, gave a prolonged standing ovation completely overwhelming both Syd (pictured, left) and Joshua (right) as they got up to answer questions.

The film weaves Syd’s past, present and foreseeable future as he records a landmark album in New York with South African musicians from Paul Simon’s Graceland album.

The film will be screened as part of the Durban International Film festival on July 29 at 12:00 at Ekhaya MultiArts Centre in KwaMashu and on August 1 at 12:00 at Musgrave Sterkinekor.

For more information about the film festival go to www.cca.ukzn.ac.za

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is part of our emotional intelligence which has been found to be equally if not more important than our IQ. It’s the feeling we have when we succeed and feel loved.

Our self-esteem is developed already early in life when toddlers learn to overcome their first hurdles. When they learn to walk, they often fall and need to get up again. When parents encourage their successes in a loving way, they feel a sense of accomplishment and try again. Through success they feel confident and develop. However, as self-esteem can be built up, it can be broken down just as easily.

Healthy self-esteem is a child’s defense against difficult life situations. Children who have a good self-esteem can handle criticism, conflict and rejection in life much better than children who do not have a good self-esteem. Children who’re able to think and say “I can do it”, “I will find a way”, “I am clever” are generally much happier than children who think “I can’t do that”, “What’s the point?”, “I am stupid”.

So let’s look at what we, as parents, can do to help our children develop a healthy and strong self-esteem. The following points will make a big difference in your child’s and your life:

Give your child responsibilities

When your child has little tasks that he/she can complete successfully he/she feels more part of the family and proud of him/herself. Often children are keen to help but are kept back because of fear that they might get hurt, fail or because it takes too long. Let them do small tasks first, see how delighted they are to succeed and adjust the tasks as they get better. Have patience and see it as a life-lesson for them. Allow mistakes to happen. It is often the only way to learn.

Reward effort and completion instead of outcome

Don’t just look at what your child achieved or did not achieve, rather focus on the effort. Don’t just say: “It doesn’t matter, you will do well next time.” Rather reflect on his/her emotions, be empathetic, listen well and say: “I can see that you are very upset that you didn’t get the mark you hoped for but you worked so hard and I am really proud of you for doing that.”

There’s a difference between praise and encouragement. The first one rewards the task while the other rewards the person. Praise can make a child feel that he’s only “good” if he does something perfectly. Encouragement, on the other hand, acknowledges the effort. Too much praise can lead to a low self-esteem because the child might think he/she will only be praised if he/she did very well thus putting him/herself under a lot of pressure.

Change negative believes and thoughts

Negative believes and thoughts enhance poor performance. Help your child to change negative thoughts and beliefs. For instance instead of thinking: “I am so bad at writing creative stories. I am useless.” Your child should be helped to think: “I am a good leaner but I need to practice my story writing a bit more to improve that skill.” Try to find more positive things to say about your child than negatives. This will help your child to think that he CAN do something right and is not “useless”.

Be a good role model

Children copy everything parents do, say and think. Watch what you say, try to be positive and be aware of what you think. If you have a positive thought and belief pattern your child will learn to be positive too.
Create structure, boundaries and a safe home and school environment for your child

Structure and boundaries are important for a child to feel safe. Make sure that your child knows the limits, be firm and be consistent. If you don’t want your child to watch too much TV for example, discuss a reasonable timeframe with him and tell him that he can choose to stick to the agreement otherwise he chooses not to watch any TV at all for the next day. Choices will teach your child responsibility for his behavior.

Follow through with the consequence if the child does not keep to the agreement. Children need to know what their limits are at home and at school to be able to feel safe. Insecurities lead to a low self-esteem. Children who feel safe and know the boundaries have the ability to try out new behaviors without having to fear rejection or to feel unloved.

Spend time with your child

It seems as if life is getting faster and faster. I have found that when children are asked what they would wish if they had a “free wish”, they often say they want to spend more time with their parents. Take the time, make your child feel special, be interested in what he/she is doing, be loving and empathetic. This will help your child to feel that he/she is worth the attention. It is important to have a special time set out for your child- it does not have to be more than one or two hours during the week if you are very busy- where you do what your child wants to do with you. Let him/her chose an activity and don’t allow phone calls or other commitments to interfere in that time.

Follow those points and see how your child develops into a more confident person. After all, we all want our children to be happy in life and to overcome their obstacles well.

*Andrea Kellerman is an east coast life coach who’s worked extensively with various health facilities on the east coast, primarily with those suffering from anxiety and depression. She can be reached on 031 2660636.

S

Dear S

To run a successful business you have to have a lot of faith and belief in yourself and everything you do. It does not matter how many businesses you attempt to start, none will prosper unless you believe they will. Many other people have started the same ventures you have and succeeded. You need to ask yourself what are they doing that you are not?
Get your mindset right, get into a prosperous frame of mind first. Initially it is difficult to get a business off the ground but you have to persevere! Never give up when the wheels come off. Use your creative mind to market it.

If you feel you can do this, then I would advise you try again.

Tracey

Dear Tracey

Dear SN

You can succeed ANYWHERE in the world if you really believe you can. If you open a business with “I am not going to succeed” frame of mind, DO NOT do it.

I see no reason why you cannot open a business in PMB. In fact if you do open one in PNT/DBN, consider opening another one in PMB. I believe you have the leadership skills it does take to run a successful business.

You can do it.
Tracey

Hi Tracey

Dear K

I know it is so easy to say you need to get over this and move on. However, sometimes putting it into practice is not so easy. I am so proud of you for recognising that the problem lies with you. You have identified the symptoms and acknowledged that they are bringing you down. I want you to think about this for a minute… If you were the one that passed on and your fiancé was left battling these powerful insecure emotions and you were watching him from the spiritual world, would you not be sad watching this? Yes you would! You would want him to move on and be happy. Give him that satisfaction too by making a decision to move on and implement it. You will find an absolute angel in a new relationship. Embrace it and enjoy it. You have the power to control what you feel and think.

Tracey

Hi Tracy

C

Hi C

There is nothing in life you cannot accomplish if you put your mind to it. I know you will go very far in the career you choose to pursue. I also see you moving to Cape Town and setting up home there. Study hard, work hard but also remember you are still very young and have a whole life ahead of you. Do not rush your studies, take it one step at a time or you will suffer from overkill too soon and possibly end up hating your choice in career.

Tracey

Hi there

R

Dear R

Sometimes letting go of the emotions we experience can be so difficult. Considering this is the only man you really loved and cared for makes it even harder. I want you to realise that you are addicted to this emotion you feel for the man and not actually the man.
Follow the direction your feet are facing. Forward. Move on darling. No happiness can/will ever come out of this relationship again as there is way too much water under the bridge.

In good time you will find a man that you can call your soul mate.

Tracey

Hi Tracey

C

Dear C

You are despondent about life in general. You get bored with whatever you start doing. To overcome this you need to find out what it is about yourself that draws you into something exciting only to find it is a dud.

You are an incredibly passionate person and have so much to offer. My advice to you is to start a small business venture from scratch and slowly start to build it one level at a time. Working for anybody, regardless of what the job entails, will always bore you to tears. Working for yourself will motivate you to climb higher and higher. This is something you can rarely do when employed.
Take the chance, start it sideline.

Good Luck sweetheart.

Tracey

* If you’d like to send through a question for Tracey, please email life@ecr.co.za with “Ask Tracey” in the subject line. Tracey will not respond to questions posed on ECR Life itself.

*If you’d like to set up an appointment to see Tracey Webber, you can do so via her PA Maureen. Maureen’s number is 083 742 7111. Catch Tracey live with Jane Linley-Thomas every Wednesdays from 19h30 to 20h00

Aldytha says: “False lashes have made a huge comeback and are going to be the must-have accessory in every fashion conscious woman’s makeup
kit this Winter 2010!”

A few tricks from Aldytha will help you achieve the glamour lash this winter in 6 easy steps!

Step 1

Make sure your eye shadow has been completed as applying eye shadow to the eye are after lashes have been applied can leave a powdery residue on the lash which will dull the lash.

Step 2

Use a lash curler to curl lashes upwards. This will ensure that once the false lash has been applied, the lashes will merge together and appear natural.

Step 3

Gently remove the appropriate lash from the box, (make sure right lash on right eye and left lash on left eye), now lightly place along the upper lash line and ensure the lash will not be too long on your eye. In the event that the lash length is too long, you can trim the lash using a nail scissor.

Step 4

Once length has been established you can replace the lash into the box. Now apply a drop of lash glue onto a suitable surface. I use part of the lash box. Pick the lash up using a tweezer.

Once firmly in your grip use a toothpick (or similar tool) to apply glue in a thin line along the edge of the lash. Be sure at this point to only run glue along the edge and not on the lash itself. This will ensure that the glue does not adhere onto your natural
lash unnecessarily which would result in a difficult removal later on.

Step 5

Allow the lash glue to dry for a few moments until it appears tacky. Now using the  tweezer, position the lash from the inner corner of the eye and gently maneuver the lash into position, sitting as closely to the natural lash as possible.

Step 6

Once the lash glue has dried, liquid or cake liner can be applied over the lash line to seal the lash and fill in any little gaps that might have resulted.

Voila, enjoy the extra attention as you flutter your lashes unashamedly this winter!

*Aldytha da Silva and her Make Up Your Mind team can be reached on (031) 3122019 or visit their website  www.makeupyourmind.co.za

**Pics supplied by Daena Chanel Photography. Contact Daena on 0824355138.

i Glynne,

Thanks
Jag

Hi Jag

I’ve always wondered whether Rotweiller urine wouldn’t have the required effect of keeping cats away? Only joking.

But seriously now, scratching up the furniture is only a  symptom of  kitty’s  hunting aspirations -  sharpened weapons are vital  for a kill. Unfortunately your  couch or leg of the dining room table,   make excellent sharpeners  for kitty’s blood sport.

Now you may not see the connection here but appropriate feeding will discourage this destructive. Most cats won’t hunt, or sharpen their weapons, if they don’t have to. So try presenting your ‘Shredding Machine’ with a  smorgasbord  of all  his favourite delicacies and make sure they are fresh and on call  24/7. I bet you’ll soon have your old couch recovered … literally.

As far as you’re the shedding  … that’s what cats do best! Invest in a good vaccum cleaner and keep brushing every day.

All fur now
Glynne

Hi Glynne

There is no lack of attention as he is an indoor, on the bed kind of dog.

Thanks
Anne

Hi Anne

Wouldn’t you jump out if you were enclosed in a back yard with nothing to do all day … not even a view of the action? I certainly would!

Try addressing the cause of  his prison break rather than the symptom which is what you are trying to fix at the moment..
•    What can you do  make his boring life more interesting?
•    Has he got a full tummy 24/7 so he can sleep away the hours? (Maybe you have put him on a diet recently, or changed his food to a less nutritious one?)
•     Has he got lots of raw juicy bones to chew on and keep his mind off his troubles?
•    Has he got an interesting view from where he can check out the chick next door
•    Can he keep tabs on the neighbourhood comings and goings and join in the interesting gossip?
•     Has he got compatible company?
•    Or is his company driving him mad?
•    What are the chances of leaving him indoors ? – he’d  be much happier there.

Sorry to burst your bubble but dogs do NOT  need a lot of space or huge grounds to race around on. They just wanna have a full stomach  and a meaningful  life!

Good luck and let me how it goes.
Glynne

* If you have a question for Glynne, email life@ecr.co.za with “Pets” in the subject line.Glynne Anderson
* Please note that the questions and answers will be published on ECR Life so should you wish to remain anonymous, make this clear in your email.

*Glynne Anderson is a full time pet behaviour consultant. She is also the founder and director of Canine Academy – the largest private dog training school in KZN. She can be contacted on 031 765 1958.

I took part in the city race last night, along with about 5000 other Londoners. 5kms around the city.

Despite feeling like I was suffering from a bout of narcolepsy before starting (had to get chocolate to cure me) it was a great race and there was even a goodie bag waiting at the end, filled with treats and an enormous one-size-fits-all T-shirt.

The burning questions on my mind post race were:

1. Did I beat the guy dressed up as a Zebra and

2. How many people mistook their free pink sachet of fabric softener for some sort of strawberry energy gel – and are now enjoying 4 x Longer Lasting [breath] freshness a la fuchsia infusion.

*Kirsty Barton is a 30-something former Durbanite who now lives and works in London. She has swapped time on North Beach for the Northern line, rotis for Yorkshire Pudding and slops for snow boots. Her day-to-day antics of life in London can be seen on her illustrated blog. If you have ever lived or worked in London, love food, fashion or just fancy a laugh, don’t miss this weekly column. And if you’d like to subscribe to her blog, click here to visit it.

A separate UK study has found that many students would consider the procedure to allow them to focus on a career before motherhood.

The BBC reports that egg freezing is still a relatively new technology, which enables a woman to save eggs for future IVF treatment if needed.

The chance of success is better with younger, healthier eggs, yet most women currently choosing the procedure are in their late 30s and opting for egg freezing as a “last resort”.

A British fertility expert says: “Many women now choose to delay having children and although they should be supported in that choice, they need to be aware of the potential problems they may encounter when they do decide the time is right for motherhood.

“Age has an impact on male as well as female fertility and when they do meet Mr Right, they may well find that he has fertility problems.

“They also need to be aware that using fertility treatment is no guarantee of success.”

The reader joins Adrian as an adult on a long car ride to his family farm, Om-die-Draai, deep in the Free State. The narrative moves seamlessly between the past and present tense as Adrian’s story unfolds, across experiences and cities. Growing up in a small Afrikaans community, Adrian is surrounded by stereotypes of South African life in the seventies and finds himself trying to negotiate life in a country filled with political and personal strife.

The tragedies of the novel are somewhat typical (vengeful race-based rivalries, the ‘maid’ who is unfairly dismissed for stealing, the brutal yet horrifically routine farm murder) but they are also poignant and real.

Through Adrian’s sensitivity and introspection, Fritz manages brings a sympathetic light to bear on many all-too-South-African events. At the same time, there are tales of humour and fun in this dark work, most especially found in the diversity of characters such as Adrian’s mother, a high-heeled long-distance truck driver, and Gertie, Adrian’s co-star, the Actress with a Capital A.

The narrative flows easily and the reader is soon swept up in Adrian’s journey even if it is at times predictable and a touch self-indulgent. There is an overall feeling of inevitability about the story but this reader can’t help feeling that, rather than a flaw in the writing, this feeling seems to accurately capture the larger mood of many post-apartheid South African lives.

A quick and quirky read that will linger in your memory.


*Waleska Saltori has a Masters degree in English Studies from the University of Kwa-Zulu Natal. A freelance editor and copywriter, she specialises in corporate copy and communications. A bibliophile from a young age, she reads anything that comes her way but prefers good novels and has a soft spot for historical fiction. She can be contacted for copywriting projects on waleska@pensa.co.za

And she is Belinda Burrell of Pinetown. Congrats Belinda!

Over the next two weeks, Belinda will be working with the ECR Life makeover team to help make her more confident about herself, both in terms of her body and her inner self.

Belinda’s journey will be documented and you’ll be able to share her transformation with us here on ECR Life during Women’s Week, starting on 9 August.

Here’s how Belinda will spend the next 10 days:

Fitness expert Lisa Raleigh (VO2Max)
Belinda will get to work with one of SA’s top fitness experts and TV personality, Lisa Raleigh. Lisa is offering an assessment, a body brush exfoliation and body wrap and a free week with a personal trainer.

Makeup artist Aldytha da Silva (Make Up Your Mind)
Belinda will spend a two hour intensive session with one of Durban’s top makeup artists, Aldytha da Silva, and her team. They’ll focus on classic look that best suits her features. She’ll also be given personalized notes she can take home with her.

Stylist and fashion expert Lynne McMaster (DressbyLynne)
Belinda will hit the stores with one of Durban’s most sought-after stylists and image consultants, Lynne McMaster. Lynne will go from store to store with Belinda, teaching her what styles of clothes best suit her body, what colours she should stick with and how to reflect her lifestyle and personality in the garments she wears.

The Hub
After finding out what styles best flatter her body, Belinda will walk away with two sets of clothes including shoes, bag, accessories etc with compliments of The Hub.

Skin expert Shana Sandri (M.E.G)
Belinda will also be treated by one of Durban’s leading skin experts, Shana Sandri. She’ll conduct a face-mapping session with Belinda and tailor-make a treatment specially for her skin’s needs.

Hair expert Fay Abdullah (Hoi Polloi)
Top Durban stylist, Fay Abdullah, will give Belinda’s hair some intensive TLC. Her complete hair makeover may include treatment, colour, highlights or a straightening treatment.

Once again, congrats Belinda! I’m sure all ECR Life readers wish you the best on your journey and everyone looks forward to sharing that experience with you.

Anisa
ECR Life editor